Coronavirus and an Uncertain Future
As we sit here on anchor, self quarantined off an island we’ve somehow already been at longer than any other island (yet ironically never even planned on visiting)… it occurs to me that it’s a very good time to live on a sailboat.
Let’s be clear… we didn’t buy a boat or move aboard as some kind of a “bugout plan” or “prepping” for some great disaster or pandemic in the future. Yet… somehow as I lie here typing we actually find ourselves talking about just that. A global pandemic. How have those actually become household words outside a plot to a possible movie choice off the hard drive for tonights evening distraction??
It seems so surreal to even say that, much less to find our entire world turned upside down as we as a global community try to figure out what it means, how we are supposed to respond and what our future looks like. It’s impossible to not have stress and fear, to feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel or way to move forward… but in reality (for those of us, who either don’t contract the virus and/or recover) it’s mostly the change, the waiting and the unknown that are weighing on us rather than a current pending danger.
This doesn’t make it any less heavy or any less real… in fact we’ve all seen examples online of how this is and will cause problems as those who feel like they are safe/immune from the virus’ effects keep going about their normal lives despite the fact they may single-handedly continue and worsen the impact on a much larger level.
But for now if most of us do our current job - which is to stay home, stay away from others and be mindful of those who aren’t as likely to recover (both the elderly/those with previous conditions AND areas of the world that simply cannot handle or recover from an outbreak without massive/devastating losses) it seems that we will flatten the curve and slow things down enough that science/medicine can catch up and things will eventually/slowly return to “normal”. At some point through vaccines/treatments and enough of the population having already been exposed/recovered; we will be able to leave our homes and places of hiding and move forward.
So wait is what we’ll all do. Because we have no other choice.
But isn’t it amazing how very hard that statement is in real life? To be trapped inside your own home for a yet undetermined amount of time without the comfort of others around you and with a seemingly growing list of fears and worries and problems streaming in from everywhere you look/read. None of us are immune to that condition… no matter how much time we’ve spent living in small spaces or being socially distant from other people in the past.
In reality, it should almost be a welcome change... The chance to take some time to quietly set goals, recenter ourselves and catch up on things that the “normal” world rarely gives us a chance to do. It could be, it seems, a very good time to catch up on some things that we’ve been meaning to do for a while… like writing blogposts, tackling some outstanding boat/house projects and making/remaking plans for the future. Even a good time for reaching out (by skype/facetime) to those who we haven’t had a chance to connect with recently and catch up from afar…
But honestly… probably like so very many of you, what we’ve actually spent the vast majority of our time doing is stressing out about things we can’t control. It’s such an ironic place to be that we’re all stuck in whatever box we call home right now and stressed out about a bunch of things we have zero control over. Im not sure any of us are immune. Even those of us used to change, used to not having things figured out… we still inevitably find ourselves stuck in the same cycle of fear and stress that everyone else is in right now. Worry about our friends and loved ones back home, worry for all those we don’t know being impacted, and yes… worry about what’s to come for us as well.
We’re trying to work on it. To focus on soaking in nature, to show immense gratitude for the things we do have.
It’s not lost on us for a single second that we are surrounded by fresh air and nature. I can’t imagine anywhere we’d rather be “stuck” and waiting out something like this. We have the dog and we are all 3 healthy and happy (not counting stress/worry mind you). We appear to be at a very low risk of contracting the virus since our self-quarantine is literally floating out of touch with others and we have the ability to survive this way for a very long time simply because it’s not so far from how we normally live/survive…
But despite all the gratitude and daily affirmations, the stress is still there. This pandemic is hitting us personally on a different, but still very deep and very real level. One that won’t be gone in a few days/weeks and won’t blow over merely by waiting it out. Our current coronavirus impact is a financial one. It also is a struggle to even discuss it - because it feels almost selfish to be worrying about ourselves and about money while other are dealing with illness and/or full on life and death battles, but I cannot hide that it’s still consuming us.
Even though we’re in the early days of this crisis it has become very clear that our tenants back home cannot pay their rent because they cannot continue working. We are obviously happy to provide a place for them to live and understand the circumstances without question… but those rent payments are also our only source of income. Without the rent we cannot pay our own mortgage and frankly - cannot survive fanincially for very long.
As it turns out… our entire income, our only plan for the future, our entire lifestyle and reality is all wrapped up into our real estate back home. This isn’t simply a monthly payment or an investment- it’s our everything. It’s slowly been sinking in over the past few days that if we find ourselves in a situation where we can’t afford mortgage or a bank decides to foreclose, we lose EVERYTHING. Quite literally we lose our entire plan for the future, our day to day income, our home - all of it, and all in one massive, unforeseeable and uncontrollable event.
We typically consider ourselves pretty good at managing/dealing with stress and the unknown… but that’s a fairly larger-than-normal stress and it’s shaking us a bit to our core. Despite the typically positive outlook, the gratitude and the affirmations… we’re actually terrified and we cannot yet find a plan/path to get out of the way of the train headed straight for us with apparently no brakes.
But haven’t you heard about the mortgage freeze passed by the Feds?
Yes, we did… and we were initially relieved at the news. But then we picked up the phone and talked to our banks and learned that like most things - they usually aren’t as good as they first appear.
Despite reading that the Feds were pushing for a 12month mortgage/rental freeze to help homeowners, the word we got back from all of our banks was that the most they could offer us was 3months. 90days of no late fees and “limited” reporting to the credit bureaus. Don’t get me wrong… that still sounded helpful until we kept asking questions.
“What happens at the end of 90 days?”
“What about interest in the meantime?”
“What if all this takes longer than 90days to go away?”
You see at least in Portland, where our homes are… the local government has already put orders in place for how we as landlords deal with this and help our tenants in this time of chaos. We are not allowed to evict tenants or charge them late fees if they cannot pay rent (not that we would want to in this horrible time), and after things have returned to normal they get a mandatory 6month period to repay any back rent not paid during the coronavirus emergency.
It’s actually very kind on all levels and made sense to us as the homeowner/landlords… right up until the banks all pointed out that at the end of 90days we, instead of a 6month payback period, will owe ALL interest accrued during that period and ALL missed payments in one lump sum.
“What? We clearly misunderstood.”
“No… the entire amount is due on the 91st day.”
Gulp.
“So… what if we cannot afford that because we still haven’t gotten rent from our tenants?”
“Then we will report the missed payments to the credit bureaus and begin foreclosure”
Great… so… that’s where we stand then.
We are not accustomed to taking “No” for an answer or settling for what appears to be a wall/hurdle/roadblock. We called several more banks and sometimes multiple agents for the same bank (odd how often that garners a different answer). All gave the same responses. In some cases we tried to push the conversation further…
“Well isn’t there something we can we do to restructure or refinance the loan? Can’t we repay the back payments over 6months as we receive them from our tenants?”
“Of course, that’s a possibility at that point, but will be entirely up to your ability to qualify for the ‘new’ loan that is refinanced/restructured.”
Not so Great. So after 90days and not being able to make payment in full on the 91st day, the banks have reported us to the credit bureaus, our credit takes a hit and we then get to apply for a refinance, (as people who have zero income other than our rentals, who now have several back-rent situations, likely a couple vacancies and without doubt look absolutely bleak “on paper” while we all work to get our lives back to normal)?
Oh… well, what were we so worried about then??
We also cannot sell a house right now (one is listed right now, but turns out it’s hard to get an offer when people can’t leave home and the world is in general and financial terror). Our recent plan for helping to make a bit of side income while helping others find their own freedom (our BreakAway Retreats) has obviously had to be put on hold/postponed due to travel restrictions… we can literally now do nothing but wait.
We have begun to slowly come to the realization after a week on the phone (and I can only imagine the long distance/international phone charges we’ve collected in the process)… that there are very good odds this doesn’t turn out well for us financially and changes our entire lifestyle.
As in “a very real possibility that at the end of 90days we lose it all” not well.
That at the end of that 90day period (or however long it takes after that) we have to look at our lives and realize that everything we ever worked for in terms of an income, a portfolio, a future… could all be gone.
We certainly hope that’s not the case and will do absolutely everything we can to protect it… but it looks like its at least a highly likely outcome, and that is a stress we haven’t yet figured out how to deal with.
Other than wait.
In reality… right now all any of us can do is wait patiently to find out what’s coming and what the hew “normal” holds. It wont be easy for any of us… but one thing I know for certain - that stress about things we can’t control doesn’t actually help the outcome. To the contrary - it makes it worse. Even in the best of times it weakens your health and immunity and adds potential problems to the existing ones already on the table.
Instead, we’re trying to “box” those things we can’t control and put them on a shelf to deal with later… when unknowns become knowns and there’s actually something we can do. Instead, for now we tackle the things that can actually be done or impacted or changed. We write the things, we take care of each other where we can, we send the love and energy out to the universe because whatever stresses we have right now, someone else is dealing with something far worse and my not have the chance to make a change later or start over later.
THE most important thing… the thing we keep coming back to each and every day - We still have each other. We are still healthy. We still have the dog. We are still floating in the middle of a beautiful bay that allows us to soak up nature and truly beautiful images. And… if after focusing on those things for the next 90days things still take a turn for the worst and there’s nothing we can do about it?
Then we pick ourselves up. We figure out what our new “normal” looks like and we make a plan at that point. Because we’ve had to figure it all out before. We’ve had to reinvent ourselves before and we’ve had to start from zero before. If we must… we’ll do it all again.
I desperately hope that’s not the way this story writes itself… and that after this passing storm there’s a rainbow we just cant yet see. But even if that’s not the case - we can figure that out as well.. even if we don’t yet know how. And if that all happens, ask me again if I would have done it all over again the same way, because I can’t possibly know how I’ll feel at that point in time.
But for now…I can’t think of a single decision we would have made differently.
