A mental box we built years ago

This one has been a long time coming and yet is still seems no more clear than before.

Every few years since quitting the rat race (now over 12years ago) - we find ourselves facing a fairly large crossroads, typically because of money (or most often, the lack of it) and have to make some difficult choices about how to continue moving forward despite a general lack of funds.

That shouldn't be surprising... affording this lifestyle is everyone's largest question/fear (as it was mine when Jen first suggested the crazy idea), and our best laid "plan" when we first left was to stretch out our savings for a year by buying nothing but fuel and $2 street tacos - and honestly, the plan hasn't changed much over the years (and we both blew through that savings and made a couple significant changes to that lifestyle long ago).

Every single time we reach one of these crossroads that could well spell the end of our journey, we've gotten countless comments/suggestions that we should set up a patreon account, add a link to the blog for payments, or of course - start a YouTube channel to fund our adventures.

We always dismiss those ideas as quickly as they come in (not so much even a conversation, more of a reflex response now) - but then soon after find ourselves asking why as we try to solve the financial issues in a different way.

Over the last year we've had an even more expensive stint than normal aboard Karma - and many in our community have offered to help financially to keep the journey going, offered to setup GoFundMe pages for us, etc..  We declined as always and continued on as we always do, figuring it out on our own but also watching our account dwindle.

Had we known last year that our business partner was working to destroy our business/livelihood back home and that we would soon end up with both no savings and no income stream... theres a chance we may have paused longer to consider those quick declines. But, knowing us... maybe we still wouldn't.

A couple months later, as the battle to save our business was in the forefront, we watched as a couple we know (but also with a YouTube sailing channel) asked their community for help and got two shiny new engines delivered to the dock and installed in their boat - all paid for entirely by their community to continue the journey. Maybe it was because those engines were the same bright blue Nannis (and same exact model) we use aboard Karma, but that was the first time my mind considered the question of why we said no so rapidly.

Don't get me wrong, we are thrilled for them.  Their community is amazing (just like ours).  The only difference - is that they said yes, while we said no (yet again).  It obviously got me pondering this cycle and why we have always been so quick or intent on saying no.

We have long known that a YouTube channel wasn't for us.  Neither of us enjoy being in front of the camera, much less hearing our own voice - and as much as we LOVE sharing our story and journey with others, we hate not being fully present during the unfolding of that story as well.  We want to be focused on where we are and watching the sunset rather than talking into a camera to make sure we have the footage needed for next week's episode.  We also are STRONG against the push/drive that inherently comes with the YT for more drama to sell more clicks.

That is actually the exact opposite of our daily goal out here - which for us is more beauty and less drama (frankly, the goal is NO drama, but let's be honest/realistic here). 

A couple months ago we saw a different couple, also on YT, also sailing here, who found themselves in a storm/trouble.  We got word of it from another sailor friend, asking if we know them or which atoll they were at.  We clicked through the link and what we saw immediately brought back PTSD from our own experiences.  “We Lost the Boat” was the title of the YT episode and even a few minutes in it was clear that they had been hit by a similar storm with horrifying results.  It wasn’t nearly as strong didn't last nearly as long as what we had endured, but it didn’t matter - the winds and waves had still pushed them towards shore and onto the reef.

We immediately reached out offering help.  We were already planning to head for the Tuamotus soon, and let them know we could leave quickly if needed and could still stop in Tahiti for parts, supplies, whatever they needed.  We couldn’t reach them and spent a couple days reaching out to others trying to find direct contact info for them.  We knew well exactly what they must be going through and how stranded and stressful they felt.  While we continued trying to find them our hearts absolutely poured out to them and their situation, which we knew all too well.

A few days went by with no response.  I then noticed a comment from someone on their feed saying it was nice to see them in Fiji.  What??

I wrote again, and the next day (only after their next YouTube video came out with an update) did they finally respond and say that the posts were actually several months behind, that the boat was not only fine, but they had already made another couple crossings to Fiji.

Well… great!  So happy all is well! 
But - there is/was an entire community of sailors here trying to figure out how to help/save one of their own, and you’re intentionally not sharing info so that you can create more drama for clicks?  They also started a GoFundMe to help pay for all the repairs (and thankfully later also posted that they would be donating some of those proceeds to help the locals who worked tirelessly for several days to save their boat before another storm hit - I hope that happens!)

I get it.  It's a business they’re running on YT.  They honestly seem like great people.  But it's one more in a long string of us knowing all-too-much and seeing the behind-the-scenes of these channels that makes us want nothing to do with having our own. It should be stated - in fairness, that we also know a few couples doing it very well (and authentically)... but it is far from the norm Im afraid, because - well, money does that to things. 

We have long chosen to live a life and to share much of it focused on authenticity and honestly about both the highs and lows… but the goals for us (just as I'm certain it is for all of you) is to remove as many of the lows as possible from life - NOT to try and figure out how to add drama to them for more clicks and paid links.

Same as the (easy) decision we made years ago when the producers were offering us reality TV shows based upon our life/business. Sounded like a fun way to share/reach a broader community, but one look at the contract and understanding just how "unreal" reality TV was - that's a HARD NO, thank you!

Honestly, this was true even when we first left for our adventure.  We started the blog as a personal journal and a way to share photos/updates with friends and family… it was never envisioned as a business or click generator.  But other blogs we followed all had a “buy us a beer” link somewhere on the page. 
We discussed it, almost added one a few times but it simply never felt right to us. 

Somehow it felt... “icky” to us. We felt like it was our decision to leave our jobs and live this lifestyle and the we should be the ones to pay for it(and that other's should be saving their money for their own adventures - and we told them so!).

To this day, we just haven’t ever been able to quite come to terms with that despite the countless friends/followers who have fought (often) to convince us otherwise.  For 12years now we’ve turned down every single request for a paid sponsorship, the paid ads, and the very kind offers of people to send money to keep our adventure going during the lowest-points (covid meaning our tenants back home couldn’t pay the rent, stranded by a storm, etc).  

Even in the early days of our businesses - each of which started as merely passion projects - us helping others for free to do what we had already done for ourselves (to turn our garage into an ADU, to build out our campervan, etc).  We eventually said “yes” to getting paid for our time spent, but always 100% considered it our responsibility to work, to create a new project or start a new business as needed to continue living our dream. We are, after all - the ones that decided to quit the rat race and run away to (or run toward) this lifestyle.

At one point pre-covid, this same conversation and brainstorming led us to conceiving of “Breakaway Retreats”, where people could come to join us for a week or so on Karma - we could provide not only the vacation of a lifetime (hopefully) but could also spend the days helping them plan their own freedom by assisting with many of the same processes we've gone through ourselves (dreaming, goal setting, planning/envisioning the future).

After much work/planning and mapping out of trips, we eventually came to believe that experience would be enough “value-add” in our minds that we could and should accept payment in exchange and offered it up to our community.

Sadly, covid happened - just a few weeks before our first guests were scheduled to arrive and the idea rapidly faded away with the chaos of the pandemic)… and we once again found ourselves trying to escape the mental box that we had created once upon a time about a “buy me a beer” button.

Maybe it's the same impostor syndrome that we felt when starting the businesses - which led us to taking clients and spending countless hours on the first few for free before begrudgingly designing a logo and accepting money for the next ones. 

Maybe it's rooted in the fear that money seems to change/ruin most things and not wanting to involve money into the lifestyle that we love (living the life of our dreams and sharing it with others).  Maybe it's just another fear we can't seem to put a label on… but the result clearly seems to be a box we built ourselves into and we're struggling to break free.

We’ve grown so used to saying no to money that at least mentally, many of the actual options for making money now, we also say no to before actually considering them.

Several people have also pointed out that - that despite our asking countless times over the years for people to reach out to us if we can help in any way in their own journey/decisions - that most never do. 
Likely (we're now told)... because they feel bad for asking or don’t want to waste our time and disrupt our day. Still wrapping our minds around that one - that as much as we would LOVE it if more people would reach out to us - that by not allowing people to pay us/give back for that time, we are actually stopping them from feeling comfortable to do so. Argh...

I can't tell you that we have any answers here. We don't… but we are trying ever so slowly to work ourselves out of the mental box and trying to reframe our thinking moving forward. We also have a broad community of coaches/healers/mentors that have been really helpful about getting us to dive deeper into this and learn more about ourselves, why this is such a hard line for us. Many of them really "get it" and understand that we are in this for the energy exchange rather than money - but several also point out that money can sometime be a valid form of exchange (or, as some others have more bluntly pointed out - we do still have to eat).

I honestly don’t think we’ll ever get tot the place of being comfortable with a GoFundMe or accepting free donations whether it be a beer or a tank of gas or cold hard cash (and I hope it goes without saying that an OnlyFans site is NOT going to happen)… but we are trying to listen more to trusted friends and community members who have been trying to convince us for years that sharing our journey and writing about it is actually a service worthy of accepting payment in some form.  We still resist it by nature. but like all other lessons in life - we’re also working on it.

Case in point - many of you may have noticed that the newly re-launched website/blog has various subscription options.  You can register to get updates on new posts and still read along and comment for free (please do!). But for those interested, and in a position to do so, you can also sign up to support our journey/writing/storytelling, and we are working toward offering more services and products to those who might want them.  Additional writing, sneak peaks of upcoming projects and behind the scenes looks into our lifestyle and process, art/creative items available for purchase.

We are also planning ways to allow for more engagement (something we are seeking and also hopefully helpful to others) - group chats and/or discussions, one-on-one consulting and/or focused assistance for those taking their own “leap” - or even coming aboard to experience this lifestyle with us (with or without a retreat/workshop built in)… whatever else comes along the way. 

If any of those things seem helpful and/or exciting please join/subscribe as we try to build an even deeper and more connected community here - and please - don't be shy... let us know your thoughts and ideas, and continue to let us know what might be useful to you so that we can do our best to plan and build around it!
We love you guys!